my 4th of July….

July 9, 2009 at 4:27 pm (about me)

I am always happy when people remember my birthday, I am deeply touched and amazed that no matter how busy they were, no matter how far they are and no matter how long we haven’t seen each other, they still remember to greet me…

Though I despise adding a year to my age, I am happy at the same time, to be with the same people whom I celebrate my birthday with…and it’s pretty cool as well to spend the same birthday with my dad….

I have to admit, I can consider myself in deep sh*t, work is not going well for me, but come to think about it, it’s just one aspect which I shouldn’t solely focus unto, I have other things to mind about and to give much importance….

As I turned 23, I am indeed very thankful, I am always grateful for the breathe of life, and no matter how tough things can be, I know I can manage, I can deeply feel the ardent flame of God’s strength in me…

I just wanted to give thanks to God and to my dear loved ones who never fail to back me up, I have turned a year older and indeed a year wiser…. I constantly believe that my dreams will soon be far-fetched 🙂

and oh, to add up, this has been one of my extra special and sweetest birthday by far…

thanks to the man who made my life more colorful…

bday-1

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octopus…

January 23, 2009 at 11:39 am (about me)

Just some funny thought which entered my mind early today… octopus

On my way to work, I received a text message from my teammate saying he won’t be able to come to work due to his tonsilitis…..booooo, then that makes me and another teammate of mine in the morning shift….

Making it all worst, I learned that another one was on vacation leave, then that left me thinking how am I gonna finish all the work……..

There’s my AMS work, then my Info-AG, I did wonder how I managed to joggle those all at the same time, then a high and a very high cases arrived with only me to take over, pooof, it was all mind boggling since there are some mini-monitorings on the side, I knew I share the same sentiments with my colleagues…

Instead of complaining and whining the way I used to, I just ended up smiling with myself, that hey, what if I have those many tentacles of an octopus then I might be able to finish all those tasks in a jiffy.

I think this is one corny thought of mine, but I felt a bit glad since I am returning back to my old self who always looks forward to being busy, unlike before, I ended up sulking and cursing all the stress I get.

O well, as I told one friend of mine, instead of complaining, I guess I’ll just make do with what I have right now, I’ll be more patient and more willing, I’m hoping to start the year right, some great things had already happened, and I don’t want to spoil those by being a bratty kid who whines all the time…

I will do my utmost best to take off  “nakakatamad” and “nakakainis” out of my vocabulary…

I think I will be a cute octopus don’t I haha, doing many things with a lot of breeze ;p

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Just when I thought I have everything all screwed up….

January 21, 2009 at 7:23 am (about me)

boy_girlI have been so consumed with wailing and complaining on how some things are not working out the way I wanted them too, that I neglected the beautiful things coming in my way….

But maybe its fate or some knock of realization that hit me…

To soften a bit, embrace the fact that I am only human, to realize I’m not that very strong, that I need someone to stay by my side and let me feel sincerely loved…

I’ve foregone some few chances of loving in the past, and now I am glad to have another chance of being with someone who never fails to make me feel special and well loved…

Whatever happiness I feel right now, I owe it to you, you can never tell how much I am grateful for the patience, understanding and respect that you have shown me. I may not offer the best kind of love, but I can only promise that it will always be my truest…

There are more things that we’ll learn and discover about each other, and I am looking forward to more days, months and years of being with you.

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I am not perfect, and I love it :)

August 15, 2008 at 4:11 am (about me)

I don’t have flawless fair skin, I don’t have long, shiny goddess like hair, I don’t have luscious pouty lips, I don’t have statuesque model like figure, I don’t have big lively eyes….but I love it

I’m not poise, I laugh like crazy, I can cry like a baby…but I love it

I can be dumb and stubborn, I’m not intelligent, I don’t have the IQ of the genious people..but I love it

I’m not altruistic, I’m not extremely kind and loving…but I love it

I have my pesky moods, I am short-tempered and I whine like a child..but I love it

Most of the time I’m clumsy, I commit mistakes, I’m careless and nonchallant…but I love it

I think I’m pretty boring, I don’t see myself standing out…but I love it

I’m not the ideal girlfriend, I’m not sweet neither romantic..but I love it

I’m not a perfect friend, not a perfect sister and not a perfect daughter, I have my share of misgivings and blames…but I love it

With the realization of my imperfections and negative attributes, I learned to embrace my individuality, to love myself and to be loved unconditionally. With all these, I am driven towards what is ideal, I can never achieve perfection, I’m only human endowed with what the Almighty has blessed me.

This only goes to show that despite of the imperfections, I am still loved, because I have people loving me because of who I am.

I only have my genuine self to offer and I knew for a fact that I am far from perfection and I can never be perfect…

Maybe there’s beauty which I cannot see…whatever it is, I’m glad there are people who are constantly seeing and appreciating it…

I am not perfect and I love it!

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feeling rusty

August 12, 2008 at 7:38 am (about me)

Recently, I’m getting worried, I think I’m developing a rusty and stagnant brain, yeah, it sounds exaggerated but I’m just concerned, I’m not reading so much lately the way I used to before, not writing, neither watching the shows which I really loved watching…

My work seems like consuming most of my time, and whenever I have the time for myself, I opt to just hang around lazily, sleep all the stress away, have my routine changed drastically? it  made me quite alarmed and I know this ain’t me at all, I have to compose myself again, I honestly hate myself right now, I don’t want to be a person who’s always sitting down, in front of the computer or doing nothing at all…

I want to be productive all the time, and obviously right now, it’s not happening, it came to the point of scolding myself and this is it, I’ll be jotting down the ways which can help myself and probably can be an effective guide to bring back my old productive self. 🙂

1) READ and WRITE
I have to make sure I read at least 2 books in a week! I have to go back to my blogging! For I know reading and writing can ease my mind.

2) CLEAN
I’ve been a slob lately, before I used to become over compulsive in terms of cleanliness, but recently I’ve been tired and lazy, but I guess I have to fight the laziness.

3) CLEANSE
I think I’ve been thinking too much, which made all things rumbled in my mind, I think I have to cleanse my mind from all the negative thoughts and anxieties which seems to dominate my thinking.

4) EAT WELL
My weight keeps going up and down the scale, I think I have to maintain a very effective diet. There were days which I feel really bloated and there were also days which I feel very hungry. It’s either I indulge myself to overeating or starving myself, I have to act with this one.

5) LAUGH
Lately, I’ve been always grumpy, I tend to become annoyed easily, I want to become nonchallant with some things, I should see things in their lighter perspectives, besides, I don’t want to develop wrinkles so I must see to it that I smile and laugh all my problems away. 🙂

That’s it for now, I think I can make do with little steps at a time, I can give myself progress, I hope I can be a better me, in the soonest time possible.

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another 4th of July for me…

July 20, 2008 at 2:34 am (about me)

Yet another extraordinary day for me,my birthday and my dad’s as well….I’m 22 years old na boooo getting old hehe

Lately I’ve been through a lot of sh*t and hell, felt so complacent, impatient, agitated and dismantled, but hey I got through it all and I can say I’m more than willing to face and deal with more!

I couldn’t be any happier, I’m so thankful for everything and to be given another year is another special blessing, though times had been rough, still I’m geniunely happy! I got my parents, sisters, my ever dearest lola, my supers (anie, mai, giselle and reycia) I know I’m so loved by them, they’re my greatest gifts ever!

And of course my Service Team and friends from work, I thank them for being around, I’m super thankful for their company, may it be on serious talks or simple “asaran” times, I always get to have substance and extra happy times. My first work is ultimately unforgettable, and the people around me there makes it specially memorable…gees, I’m getting cheesy again, but hey I so love these people…who know who you are ayt! 🙂

I have no reasons to complain, I have all there is to say that I’m having a blast in life. I think a life without trials is extremely boring and I can forever live by this equation:

LOVE + FAMILY + FRIENDS + TRIALS = HAPPY LIFE

I’m not a perfect person, I can be bad at times hehe, I’m not pretentious, I get what I like and and skip on those which I don’t. 🙂 Deal with it, I’m tough as ever, people have to deal with it.

What I can wish is to become a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend…simply a better and an ideal me, I love my imperfections, from there I always aim for the ideals, there’s no such thing as perfect 🙂

Another year for me, is another journey and I know it will be a special one again, I wish I can help and make more people happy 🙂

 My birthday cake from ST
(They had my infamous line written on it! Thanks guys, Madame is touched! hehe)

Thanks everyone for remembering my special day!

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Risking again and dreaming bigger…

May 25, 2008 at 12:24 am (about me)

Well, I guess it’s true that life is a matter of taking risks and chances, but still I haven’t digested the reality of having such difficulty to risk and take chances again. As of now, my ultimate priority aside from my family is my career, at my age right now I want to have an established career, not just any job wherein I can simply receive my salary, but a career which will really hone me to become a promising professional in the future. However, certain events have happened, and I must admit it caused me a great deal of delay as I am on my way of making a career for myself.

I never imagined how hard it is to make a decision, a decision which I am truly reluctant about, but I made a decision, a decision of risking again, risking my time and effort, extending another 10 months from my existing job contract. I decided to say “yes” again to a new company endeavor, though I hold strong doubts from my previous experiences, I do not really know what made me decide to say yes and to sign again, it so happened that the idea of optimism surfaced more, from now on, I opt to become positive, to avoid doubting and getting scared and to always see the brighter perspectives of things, whatever this is that I have gotten myself into, I hope I will come out successful, I will really do my best to excel and to be more than just a name or a face…I will make it through…

After these series of trainings, I hope I can have a promising assignment; I want to work hard, earn more and learn so much more, all I have are my best efforts and my strong faith in God and I am very much hopeful that those can suffice my needs to achieve success.

The month of May has been extremely hard for me, I’ve been into so much stress and deep thinking, but all the while, I am truly thankful for this experience as I was able to step to a higher level of maturity and I was able to realized that I have not just established an ordinary friendship with my colleagues, but a special friendship which goes beyond having good times together, but friendship endowed with genuine support, concern and respect. I was able to prove this by seeing them happy with my decision.

I am truly thankful for the support of my family; at least I know how much they trust my ability to make decisions. I will be at my best to achieve everything which I yearn for; I need all the positive drives and energies for me to push through.

(I think these lyrics of a certain song are really for me at this point in time):

But if you don’t dream big,

What’s the use of dreaming?

If you don’t have faith,

There’s nothing worth believing.

It takes one look

To make the stars worth reaching for.

So reach out for something more.

(Make sense right? why not dream big, have the faith and achieve everything that my heart desires!)

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Travelin Through

April 14, 2008 at 7:39 pm (about me)

I’m lovin this song of Dolly Parton… it speaks out of who I am now, indeed I am a traveler…a puzzle… everything that the song speaks of…

Travelin Through

Well I can’t tell you where I’m going, I’m not sure of where I’ve been
But I know I must keep travelin’ till my road comes to an end
I’m out here on my journey, trying to make the most of it
I’m a puzzle, I must figure out where all my pieces fit

Like a poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song
I’m just a weary pilgrim trying to find what feels like home
Where that is no one can tell me, am I doomed to ever roam
I’m just travelin’, travelin’, travelin’, I’m just travelin’ on

Questions I have many, answers but a few
But we’re here to learn, the spirit burns, to know the greater truth
We’ve all been crucified and they nailed Jesus to the tree
And when I’m born again, you’re gonna see a change in me

God made me for a reason and nothing is in vain
Redemption comes in many shapes with many kinds of pain
Oh sweet Jesus if you’re listening, keep me ever close to you
As I’m stumblin’, tumblin’, wonderin’, as I’m travelin’ thru

I’m just travelin’, travelin’, travelin’, I’m just travelin’ thru
I’m just travelin’, travelin’, travelin’, I’m just travelin’ thru

Oh sometimes the road is rugged, and it’s hard to travel on
But holdin’ to each other, we don’t have to walk alone
When everything is broken, we can mend it if we try
We can make a world of difference, if we want to we can fly

Goodbye little children, goodnight you handsome men
Farewell to all you ladies and to all who knew me when
And I hope I’ll see you down the road, you meant more than I knew
As I was travelin’, travelin’, travelin’, travelin’, travelin’ thru

I’m just travelin’, travelin’, travelin’, I’m just travelin’
Drifting like a floating boat and roaming like the wind
Oh give me some direction lord, let me lean on you
As I’m travelin’, travelin’, travelin’, thru

I’m just travelin’, travelin’, travelin’, I’m just travelin’ thru
I’m just travelin’, travelin’, travelin’, I’m just travelin’ thru

Like the poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song
I’m just a weary pilgrim trying to find my own way home
Oh sweet Jesus if you’re out there, keep me ever close to you
As I’m travelin’, travelin’, travelin’, as I’m travelin’ thru

🙂

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Where do I go from here?

April 1, 2008 at 3:07 pm (about me)

After receiving my college diploma, all I felt were immense happiness and fear, I’m happy to be able to successfully finish my college, that after all my painstaking efforts, I was able to walk on the aisle, go up the stage and received my well-earned diploma, with this, I know that I have proved to my parents that I value education and the opportunity of earning it. From then on, after the graduation ceremony, as I woke up the next day, the first question that popped in my mind is: “Where do I go from here?”.

A few days after, I was on my way to the busy streets, going in and out of buildings and passing my resume, I even got hooked into on-line job applications, and it was such a blessing that after two weeks time, I signed up my very first job contract, there were mixed emotions actually, happiness, excitement, fear, reluctance and a lot of indescribable emotions, from there I started, I had a breezy period of adjusting, it is a blessing as well to get to work with extremely nice people. While working, my ultimate priority is to learn more and gain new experiences.

But, it is not always a cloud nine experience, some surprising, even shocking events happened which really affected and bothered me a lot, sometimes I just want to go away and find another place to work. In less than a year of working, I felt being complacent, and it disappointed me a lot, I am getting bored with the usual flow of things, I am impatient and I want more things to happen, which are apparently impossible right now, but where do I stand, to do something haphazardly or to wait patiently? As brave as I am, something holds me back, a lot of “what ifs” or “mights” to consider, should I have more patience? Or should I do something, I know everything is not easy and I am finding it difficult to figure out how to straighten the creases.

Again, the same question which popped to me just a year ago popped again: “Where do I go from here? “ , I am just so clueless right now, I do not even know what to do, I’m weighing things but it seems that I have no path right now. Am I at a crossroad? It is a year after my graduation, maybe it’s too early to worry or to be in such a hurry, what I hold on to right now, is the cliché but a fact that everything happens for a reason, I’ll just hold on to my faith, continue to do my best and I guess I’ll be leaving everything to the Almighty, I know everything will fall into their right places, and maybe I need to experience deeper learning as well.

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I don’t know if I was looking for love…

April 1, 2008 at 2:34 pm (about me)

At my age right now, I still can assert that I haven’t fallen in love, at 21, I feel so young, so vibrant and I believe there’s a lot for me that the world can offer, with having so much outlook in life and in the future, I have been so unconscious in one aspect of my life…which is having someone, someone special…

I know a lot of people who are happy or have been experiencing problems in their love life, but as a friend, all I can do is listen and give advices if needed, but at some point or another, I came about thinking, what if I have been in their situation, how can I handle such? Will I still be the same strong person if ever I get hurt? Or will I be happier if I have someone?

What I think is, I’m complete, I don’t feel the need for someone, I have my family and friends to make me happy, I have so much to do in life,  I don’t want to sound so cold-hearted neither emotionless nor conceited, I still question myself as to why I have this certain perceptions. Or maybe I have this belief that it will all be up to my woman’s intuition as to who will be the ideal one for me and as to when I will commit myself into a relationship, when will it be, that I do not know…

I know I have forgone a lot of good chances of being loved, I just haven’t felt anything mutual nor special with anyone, with all these bewilderment, I admit that I’m hoping to find the right one and for him to find me, I am not in any hurry, I will always be willing to wait, as for now, I’ll just go on and be thankful with my happy life, and if that someone comes along, then I guess I’ll be happier and more thankful… c:

I wonder why girls think like this :p

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