into the drain…

September 6, 2010 at 8:30 am (Uncategorized)

At one point I thought I was happy, but I realized I’m just pretending to be 😦

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been a while…

April 29, 2010 at 2:57 pm (Uncategorized)

It has been a few months back, where life seems to be simplier that it was…I’m now in a place, thousands of  miles away from home, trying to search who I wanna be, I have sacrificed a lot, even the happiness of being with the one I love…
Life has been tough, crying all day has been a habit, but I ain’t gonna give up, I made my way up to here and perhaps I can make all things work….
Lord please grant me      patience and more steadfast  will, make me driven, make  me stronger, help me find  my way up there, I have  nothing to hold on to but  YOU….

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what to do…what to do…

November 21, 2009 at 4:44 am (Uncategorized)

while pondering on this:

I’m a superstitious girl
I’m the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders
I keep a rabbits’ tail
I’ll take you up on a dare
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I’ll be there
Bungee jumping, I don’t care

Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life

Life

So after all’s said and done
I know I’m not the only one
Life indeed can be fun
If you really want to
Sometimes living out your dreams
Ain’t as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world
In a beautiful balloon

What I have been waiting for is just a few sleeps away, I can finally decide what to do next or where to go from here…So many options, I’m having extreme difficulty choosing, will I go there or some other place, or will I stay, or should I keep my foundation or explore a new one…I am at lost again…

I’m happy, excited, with just the thought of starting a new milestone and leaving a dreaded past, I’ll start anew, build up my career and gear up to start my plans…

I’m scared, what if things won’t work as exactly as how I planned or want them to…what about the people around me…

I’m still on a bumpy ride and no one knows how the hell I’ll be able to manage…I’m just praying for constant guidance and support, hopefully the big GUY up there will backed me up as always…

Just some random thoughts lingering in mind…looking forward to another adventure, still has a lot of unanswered questions and new ideas…
I need enlightenment, I need support, please Lord just be there and I’ll be fine 🙂

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father’s day

June 19, 2009 at 5:14 pm (Uncategorized)

father’s day is just around the corner….

so here’s one for you daddy….

Your’re never the usual father, the one who would show so much care for a daughter. You never get too involved, you never get into my way. I sometimes hate you for being nonchallant, and being so carefree, but I love you because I’ve learned so much more. I learned to stand when I fall, I learned not to shed a tear when I get hurt, I learned to be brave and most of all I learned to watch after myself. I have a lot of things which I desire to do, and I know that despite of not sharing, I know you will just be there to back us up. Parenting at a young age is definitely tough, and I totally understand why you are different compared to the conventional fathers out there, but despite of that, I can feel your genuine and unconditional love for our family.
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I dearly love  you in my own way…..
Happy Father’s day! 🙂

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sis….

March 29, 2009 at 5:41 pm (Uncategorized)

In the past few months we’ve not been in touched, we’re under one roof, sleeping in one room, sharing the same bed yet the distance is there…

You’ve come to grow up so fast, but I don’t like what’s happening, you know for a fact that I disapprove all what you’ve been up to lately…

I hate it when you snapped at us, I hate it when you come home in the late hours of the night, I hate it when you don’t respond to my texts and calls, I hate you being away from us…

I miss you, though I have been cold as ice to you, I know that you knew that I only care, since we’re young I dreaded any one of you getting into something bad…

I’m just here praying for you to realize some things, to go back to what is right, I will always disapprove you’re wrong doings, but what can I do, you’re still my little sister and I’m ate… I love you and I will always do….

I’m looking forward to shopping and strolling again with you in the mall and stopping by our favorite DQ… 🙂

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Happy Birthday Hazel…

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random thoughts (3)

March 20, 2009 at 6:23 pm (Uncategorized)

Now this postsecret picture really hit me…

As of this moment, I really believed I have sucked up all the stress that I can possibly get, I have these terribly and awfully huge eyebags, terrible skin, unstable weight and I do believe I no longer look my age…

Work has been eating me up, specially the pressure, and building up the passion…Regardless of feeling ugly and demotivated, I still feel the need of doing this, I can always ran away, I can always find another one, good thing I knew myself very well, and I am not just someone who will left anything unfinished or will go off from any commitments.

Most of the time I feel stressed and restless…but I still manage to laugh and smile, that means I’m still fine, I think I will get to my finish line….I believe I am loved by certain people and that’s enough for me to know that I am needed, work is not my only world, I got my family, my friends and him….and such gives me the picture of where I need to be…

stress1

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random thoughts (2)

March 20, 2009 at 6:02 pm (Uncategorized)

cry

I don’t recall the last time I cried, the last time I shed a tear…

I feel so indifferent whenever I see myself unmoved with certain emotions that will result to crying…

I always knew that I am strong, and crying will do no good at all, I always believe no one will ever hurt me and no one will ever dare make me cry, but still I regard the thought that I am only human, I am vulnerable, and at some point I know I’ll get hurt, but how will I handle such?…there goes the big question…

I think this is just one crazy thought and senseless blog of mine though…we’ll I just want to say I really have not been able to cry for quite sometime 🙂

Am I that strong or am I being emotionless and way too nonchallant and numb?…hmmm, one thing I’m sure of is that, since I don’t want myself crying and getting hurt, then I will be at my utmost best not to make any soul cry nor get hurt too…

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25 things

February 19, 2009 at 2:22 pm (Uncategorized)

it’s my post in facebook when a friend of mine tagged me…

it’s all about jotting 25 random stuffs about you…. and…

just when I felt bored….a little recalling has been a breeze…

1. My dad and I have the same birthdays; we’re born on the 4th of July.

2. I was born in Leyte, spent the first 2 yrs in Manila, spent 14 yrs in Lucena City (Quezon) then live back here in Manila again hehehe

3. I don’t drink milk nor eat anything with milk; just the mere smell of it makes me puke.

4. I dreaded crossing the streets; swear I cannot cross the streets 85% of the time hahaha

5. I played Snow White’s evil stepmother when I was in prep

6. I’m clumsy; I usually knock or spill something, sheeesh!

7. I am quiet; I only talk when I want to. I find it hard to initiate a conversation; I’m used to dead silence.

8. But I can be very bubbly though, most of the time, it takes a while….

9. I have a lot of bloopers, my friends usually laugh till they drop when recalling my bloopers, I don’t intend to come out funny, it happens naturally, hehe it feels good to make a lot of people laugh anyway so I’m fine with it.

10. I love reading, give me a good book and a comfy spot, then I’ll be fine the entire day, sometimes I won’t sleep till I finish one especially when I’m so hooked.

11. I love to write, writing’s my channel to release a lot of what I feel or share whatever I like, I maintain a lot of blogs

12. I’m a whiner, I complain a lot.

13. I’m usually grumpy, I get annoyed easily.

14. I’m intuitive, my first encounter to a person makes me know if we’ll get along or not….

15. I seldom cry, I hate crying, it gives me the headache and that awfully red nose, I don’t like crying

16. I put a chewing gum on my seatmate’s hair when I was in grade 2. (Naughty me)

17. During first year high school I pulled the chair of my seatmate when he was about to sit down, and poof he dropped on the floor and the class burst into laughing. (Evil me)

18. I put the school bag of another classmate of mine in the garbage can hahaha (Another evil me)

19. I’m a good listener, a lot of people would come up to me to share, and it feels good to be trusted.

20. I slipped in 7-11, back flat, 3 years ago, and man, I still suffer the back pain till now (lol)

21. I love to sing, but singing doesn’t love me, that’s why I ended up singing in the bath.

22. I’m ambitious and steadfast, I have a lot of dreams and yearnings which I long to fulfill, but I keep all of them to myself.

23. I’m brutally frank, I say what I want to say straight to a person’s face.

24. My weight is my #1 issue, I’m always on a diet, I never get tired of dieting, never will I lose the hope hahaha

25. Something special happened early this year, and I’m lovin’ every minute of it

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must do within the next 10 years…

April 2, 2008 at 8:18 am (thoughts, Uncategorized)

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Just a guide to live my life well, I hope I can accomplish all these 🙂

  1. Start a career
  2. Shed 20lbs
  3. Read a lot
  4. Go out more
  5. Watch concerts
  6. Ride on a gondola
  7. Do bunjee jumping
  8. Overcome fear in water
  9. Learn how to drive
  10. Forgive and forget
  11. Attend the holy mass weekly
  12. Buy my own house
  13. Buy my chevy
  14. Buy my SLR cam
  15. Visit relatives in Leyte
  16. Travel the Philippines
  17. Travel Asia
  18. Travel and work in Canada
  19. Travel the United States
  20. Travel Europe
  21. Have a dollar account
  22. Send my sisters to college
  23. Start a business
  24. Find my special someone
  25. Be happier than ever

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